My partner and I have been together for 4 years and are monogomous. My partner came out as Poly a year ago and we are about to start dating other people. I have been scared and hesitant about changing things. However, I logically think polyamory is beautiful. I love being in a relationship, loving someone and being loved by someone. So logically it seems like getting more partners would give me more opportunities to give and receive the things I enjoy. I kind of see it like friednships. I would prefer 3 best friends instead of just one. I am also excited about being adventurous and seeing who is out there to get to know on a intimate level.

All of my fear stems from my partner making those connections with others. I wish my nervous system could just shut up and relax but I am terrified that I need monogomy to feel safe and stable.

Then I start to wonder, why do I feel like I need to control my partner and limit their freedom in order to feel safe and stable? How do I unlearn the idea that I am only safe if my partner is just with me?

Is monogomy just about controlling your partner?