I'm actually struggling a bit with trying to understand this so bear with me in my explanations.. I've recently met someone who I like, a lot. The chemistry is amazing, he does seem a bit "overly-chivalrous" at times? I am neurodivergent so I sometimes struggle with seeing peoples passion and romantic ways as being slightly over-the-top, but I really try not to make assumptions until I really know the person. Point being.. very kind, compliments me a ton, we've had some very deep conversations that really make it seem like we are looking for the same things and are on the same page.

Backstory- We are both enm/poly. Poly is new for him and is actually one of the reasons for his separation from his wife two years ago (they get along well and have two daughters together). They were married for 13 years monogamously, with polyamory being her decision. A big reason for their separation was that at the time he wanted to only be open and work toward polyamory (very normal I would say), while she wanted to continue seeing her new boyfriend in terms of a serious relationship. He felt they had jumped too quick, leading to the separation on her part. She is still with that same partner. I did explain that I am traditional poly, and that it does of course lead to me to have some thoughts about the relationship dynamic that I'm looking for being the same one that was a reason for his separation. He said he totally understood and that it is now, after the few years, what it is that he would like to explore and knowing that in the beginning of a relationship, versus 13 years in, is much easier for him to enter (again, I totally get understand that).

So here is where my confusion comes in- We've been talking for a few months now, and he is aware that I am casually seeing someone else, with the potential that that will also develop into something more serious. That has been no issue. Conversation flows very well between us over the phone and I am someone who has *very* little expectation on when a text is returned. We had our first in person date last week that went amazing (we both have busy schedules so there was a lot of bonding and getting to know each other over the phone before we met). A few days prior to our date we had talked about getting together that following weekend (our date was on a weekday), doing pride festival (this will be important later on), there were a few different events going on that we discussed doing. It seemed pretty solid, however this was pre- our first date so of course I didn't get too far into the planning for the weekend, but again, it seemed like it had been cemented if our date went well.

Anyways- I'll get to the point lol... Date is on Tuesday, goes great. He continues to tell me how excited he is to continue getting to know me and how much our in-person date confirmed that he likes me. So naturally, I continue with the plans for the weekend and he replies with.. "I'm so happy you asked, I don't have my girls this weekend and I was really hoping you would want to see me again" something along those lines. But he then replies with... "however I'm not free until Sunday afternoon but I can let you know if anything changes". I thought that was a little strange seeing as we had talked about all the things we'd potentially do together that weekend and I had briefly mentioned Sunday afternoon was the only time I had plans. No biggie though. I text him Friday morning, just a good morning text, which normally he beats me to it. No response. Okay, no big deal.. I still don't hear from him by Sunday afternoon, so I just shot him a quick "heyy... everything okay?".. It was just very unlike him to not respond for an entire weekend.

This is verbatim what he said when he replied this morning "Hey you!!!! I am okay. Just got home from my weekend away. How was your baby shower? how was your weekend?".. I had replied with how great it was and had asked him about where he went this weekend to which he replied "Just over to my partners house. Spent some time at pride festival and then hit the art and antique show at the downtown market sunday..."

Is this normal?? I've only been poly for less than a year but there was never any mention of having a partner.. which is *NOT* the issue... but.. discussing weekend plans with me and then doing those plans with someone else? Not replying for an entire weekend when conversation had always been timely up until then... saying he was with a partner that he had never mentioned before? I tend to be pretty accepting but also know how to set my boundaries... are these red flags? Am I over-thinking? I feel like I need some guidance on this.