Hello all!

I (36nb) am new to polyamory. I have an amazing ace wife who is my nesting partner, and we have been together for almost 9 years. About five months ago I started dating my now boyfriend (37m) who is also married and nested with his wife. Things have been really excellent! He is very attentive when he is with me, a great lover, really sweet and funny and we get along great! The only issue is that it is very hard for us to make plans. We text everyday, and he is always talking about how much he wants to see me, so I will suggest a day/time and it is like pulling teeth to get an answer! He usually says he has to check with his wife to make sure they don’t have any plans already, and will say he will check that night. When I ask him again he hasn’t talked with her about it and pushes it off. This is super frustrating for me as I like to have my plans in advance and know when I am seeing him since I have a lot going on right now working and taking classes. I have expressed how important this is to me multiple times and he says he knows how important it is to me. When we are together things are amazing! And he is always saying he wishes he could see me more. So I just don’t know what to do about this and was hoping for a bit of advice 😅

Would picking a standing day that we see eachother each week be a good suggestion? I want to respect his relationship with his wife and not push for anything, but also I feel kind of like an afterthought. I don’t know… any advice is welcome!