Hey poly folks !

I haven't seen posts on this specific topic, but my apologies if it's been addressed before. Apologies also if I misuse some terms, as english isn't my native language.

I (30F) am currently dealing with a depression relapse. And I'm massively struggling to navigate that in the context of my polyamourous journey, as I call it.

To give some context, I'm involved in one quite new romantic relationship (let's call this partner Adam), and a few more casual connections. The relationship with Adam isn't my first poly relationship, but my first one that's been poly from the start (I went through the process of ENM with a former partner). This has brought some challenges (finding my "place", jealousy from me and metas,...) and Adam and I have had a few tough weeks, even considered breaking up, but it's luckily all calming down.

Yet, because of the depression, I'm still struggling more than usual with the "normal" challenges of polyamory, and my dating energy is pretty low. This last point is something very hard to manage, knowing Adam has other partners, and it's just generally frustrating, since meeting new people is something that usually makes me feel very fulfilled and excited. I talked to my therapist about the challenges, and she said, in a nutshell "You might want to consider breaking up with Adam and giving up polyamory, as the challenges and anxiety won't disappear". This was really tough to hear. I don't want to give up on a relationship style this feels very right for me, not before trying anyything I can reasonably do.

Also, I've often had the feeling of not being "loveable" because of depression it's very hard for me to ask a partner to support me with something so... heavy. Especially with Adam, because the relationship is still new and the frame of polyamory makes it more complicated (for example, I'm struggling to ask for help, attention or comfort in moments when we haven't planned to meet because I don't want to interfere with other dates). He's very caring though, and has changed plans more than once to be there for me.

So questions for poly folks who are struggling with depression too :

• How are you managing the anxiety and difficult emotions that arise in your relationships ?
• Have you ended or considered ending relationships because of this ? (Closing my relationship isn't an option)
• How did you deal with the lack of dating energy or general energy to give to other partners ?
• Any tips on dealing with depression in the poly context, in general ?

Sorry for the very long post and thank you all so much for your help. This subreddit has been a very safe and useful place for me, many times <3