Title says it all. I’m in love with someone who is poly, and has been open about that. He wants the same things I want - primary partnership, marriage, building a life together: but he is polyamorous by orientation.

I trust and love him deeply. When I read and engage with poly groups and info, it makes sense to me. The thought of him having other close relationships with women, and talking to each other about our crushes has come naturally. I’m an introvert, and love the idea that he has someone else so that my social battery has time to recharge.

But when I start thinking about the specifics… I want to be happy that he is being loved! I want to feel joy that he is feeling joy and affection. I want to hear the details and sincerely celebrate them with him. How wonderful that the person I love is having this wonderful experience that makes him happy, and I believe him when he says it doesn’t invalidate or decrease our love.

Why, then, do i I get sick and panicky at the thought of him making love to someone else? Thinking of him touching someone in ways that I’ve only ever shared with him?

Why am I so hung up here? Has anyone worked through this successfully before?