TL,DR: Started dating someone new about a month ago. Everything was great in the beginning. Now he's pulling away while saying he's still interested. Should I be patient, or break it off?

I (42f) met D (38m) on a dating app in early March. Conversation was great and we formed a great connection right away. We met in person after regular texting and phone calls for about 2 weeks. Our first date was an early dinner at a local coffee shop. We sat and talked for 6 hours and didn't want to say goodbye! We met a few days later for our second date. Just as great as the first date! I'm excited and ecstatic and drowning in NRE!

Around this time my husband and I take a day trip to a local amusement park. I make sure to message D and give him a heads-up that I'll be unavailable for the day because we've fallen into a regular pattern of texting. I catch up with D later that night once I'm home.

Things are going really well, so D and I get a hotel room for our 3rd date. It was great and I really think this has the potential to really be something. But I had a busy week afterwards and we didn't talk much for a few days. We met for breakfast, but we didn't really hang out because he had a migraine.

Then the communication really started to fall off. He's barely texting me. I don't remember the last time we spoke on the phone. It really felt like a switch flipped and all the great NRE just stopped. It's honestly rather unnerving and a bit destabilizing. To be honest, I really don't enjoy feeling this way. In our last text conversation I dropped 3 hints about needing reassurance and affirmation. He didn't really offer anything. But I don't want to be begging for scraps of time and attention.

Now, before we spent the night together we had a great conversation about other partners, new partners, needs and expectations. I did explain my challenges with any sudden changes to routine being disrupted without adequate communication. I explained that I understand that this is my issue and my responsibility to manage my feelings around it. But childhood abuse and trauma has left me very sensitive to these changes. But he assured me that he understood and would continue with the level of communication we had developed.

D is dealing with alot right now. His soon to be ex wife got a no-contact order against him in November. He hasn't seen his kids since then. He's been crashing on a couch at a friend's. He was all ready to move into an apartment at the beginning of the month, but his VA pay was routed to the joint account and not his new bank account, so he lost it all and has to wait another month, which was certainly a blow. But this happened right around Easter, which he couldn't celebrate with his kids. He usually celebrates his son's birthday on Easter and this year he missed his son turning 10. If that wasn't enough, he has a painful medical condition that flared up. Just a really bad time for him. All I want is to be patient and supportive.

But I'm also a human with basic needs and this dramatic shift has been incredibly uncomfortable. He doesn't really initiate communication anymore. He responds to what I say with brief responses. He hasn't shown much interest in making plans. Everything in me is saying that this burned bright and fast and fizzled out. But he's not calling it quits.

We had plans last night. We were really just going to enjoy a rainy night by watching a movie in his SUV. I knew that he wasn't feeling well, and I wasn't really either, so we canceled and decided to have a video chat instead. I messaged him about 10p. He said that he'd call as soon as he finished his taxes. I put on a little make-up, set up my space, and waited. After 2.5 hours I went to bed, angry. I fully expected to wake up to some sort of apology and explanation. But I got nothing.

I really connected with D. I really like him. I really want to be patient and supportive and see what this could be. But at what point do I decide that this behavior is disrespectful and inconsiderate? Is it even fair to feel that way so early on in a relationship with how much he is dealing with? I'm struggling to sort out my thoughts and feelings and differentiate between what is rational and what is not. Any input appreciated.

Update: I just received this text. I'm going to take some time to really think about how to respond.

"Omg I'm so sorry. I ended up having to go to the hospital last night with this weird acid Reflux type stuff my stomach has just been on fire for like a whole day. Tums, my normal meds aren't helping. And they didn't find anything via labs."