I (f22) don’t know how to be happy with this person. (m30)

We’re at best fwbs (both of us are poly as well and rn have no primary or any defined romantic partner atm. Its also long distance) but we still devote quite of bit of time to one another and love one another. But wont be crossing into a romantic relationship until we see how we vibe in person. Recently I got gallbladder surgery and I asked if we could call more often and the next day and expressed that I do need him rn. He agreed Unfortunately plans fell through and we couldn’t but I still had in mind that wed call more often this week.

Ive noticed Ive been feeling clingy and just needing him to be there and at first he said he could be there and then just started pulling away and then told me its hard to appease me when many others also need him. And he wants to delete all his social media bc its being overwhelming. Hes just popular and people like talking with him.

But if thats the case why agree to spend more time together, why not just say no in the first place. I need him but if he can’t then why not just say that. And often feels im the only one not receiving a text back. But then I’ll feel I get made space for when he feels theres competition. But when I focus on him or want his focus on me, then he gets all cold. I also asked him if I have been too much or if he needs space and he will say no.

And I’ll ask him about his needs and he’ll say idk and then say I don’t really care about his needs

So it feels there isnt clear communication and or consistent expectations of each other. And i just get a little sad and emotional about it.