For back story: I have been in the kink community for about 5 years now and poly for three. I got a text today from my new partner saying that her other partner who she recently started dating, claims I caused problems with them at a gangbang event. I have been to gangbang events and even co hosted but have never been in an unconsentual situation. I have touched other guys on accident and was asked to give more space but that's it. I called them to figure out what was going on and name dropped my co-host who I know wouldn't be involved. She got back to me and said it might have been at one of those events which I know is a lie. Now I'm feeling triggered as this is bringing up a lot of both childhood trauma around my narcissistic grandfather as well as the toxic relationship that didn't end amicably.

Wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation?

What should I talk about with my new partner?

Is there a good mediation or personal advice to help get my headspace back to normal vs spiraling questioning all my previous actions?