my NP/primary (26) and i (27) broke up last week after a little over 2 years together. he was more experienced with poly and this was my first poly relationship. we haven’t had any other significant relationships, just casual fwb type of things. i don’t have any other intimate connections at the moment, but he regularly has overnights 1-2 nights a week with someone else, which does hurt extra post-breakup; however, i’m getting a little better day by day. we broke up because we both entered the relationship with codependent tendencies which ended up creating a lot of resentment from his side. basically he was in a caretaker role and got burnt out (although he takes responsibility for assuming that role in the first place). we still love each other deeply and unconditionally, which makes it extra heartbreaking. i look back at old, happy memories and wish i could go back and relive them again. i’m grieving the future we dreamed of together, but that future was idealized, so slowly i am letting that go too. we both concluded that we need to be single for awhile and just engage in casual intimate relationships. neither of us have been single for more than a few months since we first started getting into relationships so we need that.

trying to focus on the positive: - we still want to remain in each other’s lives and hang out even after we move out of our shared space. it wasn’t a lack of love or chemistry that ended the relationship, just compatibility out of our control. - he functions better living alone, and i function better living with more than 1 other person. tbh i’m going to be really cautious before moving in with an NP again in the future. maybe it’s just not for me! - i’m excited to rediscover myself and my independence. i want to stop chasing relationships to fill a void. i want to feel secure in myself so that when the next person im interested in comes along, i don’t cling to them or jump into commitment too fast. - my ex and i can love each other better and have more fun together without our relationship problems looming over our heads. we can both heal from our traumas without stressing over a relationship on top of it. - i have a wonderful support network of friends that have made me feel so loved through this hard time. i am not alone.

mostly just looking for supportive words of positivity as i move through this transition period 💞