TW: References to SA

Has anyone else noticed the disproportionate amount of red flag cis het men posing as polyamorous online? I am growing so incredibly weary. The obvious ones are easier to spot; the self professed doms, the married men who haven't their wives they're poly (LOL) and those that refer to themselves as alphas etc.

I was dating someone recently who slipped through the filter. We had good chats about expectations, safety and boundaries. Things started to feel off when he lied to me about the number of lovers he had, next came the very early declarations of feelings (his), at this stage I was feeling uneasy but decided to hang out once more. I sincerely regret this as he ended up assaulting me in my own home. Clearly I am never going back but I'm honestly feeling so sad about this. In addition to this rather unfortunate connection I have another partner who is lovely but I often feel lonely when he's with other partners.

Life for femme presenting polyam babes just seems very hard in general, so many of my friends have experienced similar, my trust in this respect feels utterly destroyed. I'd probably say at this stage (especially as a demisexual and a mama) that I'd like to make more genuine connections with more on offer than novelty sex who actually want to grow together, but this doesn't seem to exist even WITH a heavy filter and sensible vetting. I don't know what my point is really, I'm hurt and feeling very jaded.