Hey all! I’ve been with my partner for 1 year. Prior to us getting together he had an existing partnership of 3 years. Originally when we got together I set my own boundaries (I do not want to be sexually or otherwise involved w his other partner.) and that I would also be dating as well. A conflict ensued (he was making sexual gestures regarding his other partner and I, and his partner was also turning up the heat with flirting in my DM’s so I had another conversation, this time with her and with him separately and just let them both know I’m really not interested in anything romantic or sexual and I want to keep things platonic with her. She responded horribly. It caused a huge rift for months in our relationship and just in general was really stressful to deal with. It took up a lot of bandwidth but finally I decided man, im doing a lot of work in this without a lot of the fun of actually persuing connections of my own too. To be clear, he now spends 2-3 nights a week with her while only spending 1-2 dinner dates with me a week. Sometimes we meet up to fuck also randomly outside of that. The problem is, I feel like my autonomy to date is limited by his poor reactions to anytime I bring it up. He says I am not communicating, but when I ask how I could have communicated better or what he needs we go back over that protocol and I’ve followed it exactly. Our most recent issue arose when I brought up wanting to have a sugar daddy. I asked how he would feel if I seriously pursued that and he said while it was hard, he understood. So I got on an app and chatted w a few guys and talked about meeting one for coffee. He said “as long as you don’t have to fuck him” to which I replied we’ll probably eventually after 2-3 dates if it goes well and we enter an arrangement. He lost his mind and said some really nasty things like that it was gross and I should know why it’s wrong etc. Tried to say financially it’s not necessary for me. the thing is, I don’t agree with him at all. He threatened to break up with me. Boundaries are boundaries but it’s not a boundary if it’s controlling what I can and can’t do. It doesn’t make sense for him to try to exert this type of control given the texture of our relationship and I’m just wondering if I’m off base or how I should approach wanting to change our relationship agreement. It feels like I have to ask permission to be with others versus have it be a collaborative convo or to have his support which makes me feel really limited in my exploration of other relationships outside of ours. Help!