Hi, so I lesbian female (29) have been dating my ENM bisexual female girlfriend (39) who is married to a husband in an open marriage.

My girlfriend and I have not seen each other for 2 weeks, and just yesterday we finally got to hangout and have quality time after also having a little one week break in our relationship due to me explaining to her that I don’t feel like a priority and she doesn’t fulfill ALL of my needs emotionally, romantically, and physically the way I’d like and I almost feel like a part time gf sometimes since her husband and children come before me and we do not live together..

So yesterday when we finally got to spend time together I was so happy and excited to see her and we both sure did miss each other. We went to a fun painting class and painted on a canvas following the instructor, a lot of guests painting along and the vibes were great. Then I noticed something that immediately hurt me and upset me. I honestly felt disappointed and felt it was a slap in my face and made me feel like I was not special anymore.

She painted the intials of her & her husbands names next to a heart. I felt some type of way because this is our quality time together and it made me think well she must be thinking of him when she’s hanging out with me and although it’s her husband and I’m just the gf not saying that she can’t do that, but it would have been nice if she wrote our initials too, or included me in it also because that would have meant a lot to me.

It definitely stung my heart that I didn’t make the cut. We’ve been dating for five months and I know she cares for me and has some love for me. It made me think thoughts like damn I thought I meant more to her or I wish she’d write cute things like that for me too.

I didn’t tell her anything in the moment, and just shrugged it off, although it was bothering me deep down and almost affected my mood. We still had an amazing night and continued having fun. I decided to text her at 3 AM expressing my feelings on how I felt a bit hurt that she didn’t write our initials when it was our date night because I couldn’t sleep and it was bothering me, and she just opened my message and ignored it. She does have avoidant attachment issues, tends to avoid answering many of my past questions, or works her way around it by not acknowledging it and so we just continued talking the next day as if I never sent that message and acted normal.

She literally just pretended as if that message didn’t exist because she said nothing about it and I didn’t bring it up again. We just chatted normally and went about our day. I’m not shocked because a lot of times she just reads my messages and ignores it when it comes to something that may stress her out or if it’s a serious conversation or maybe she likes to talk about it on the phone or in person, but she literally just said nothing to my text.

She doesn’t always understand me and I think I’m more of the emotional & romantic one and she’s more dry and cold than I am, although she’s a sweetheart at times. I feel that I give her more than she gives me. I made her my main priority. I am not dating other people, and I knew that she had a husband and children from day one.

But I just feel out of respect she should have been considerate and sensitive to my feelings by not writing her and her husband’s initials in front of me and acting like it’s totally fine when we literally haven’t seen each other for two weeks and we are literally on a date night together, it would make sense to write our names.. and she knows that sometimes I feel a bit jealous that I don’t have her all to myself and have to share her with her husband and would prefer not to know too much details of their relationship, and to keep their relationship separate.

Do you think I have a right to feel upset and hurt? I know it’s a small act, but it definitely affected me emotionally. It made me feel less special. Thank you for reading. I hope you can give good advice