I have found myself in a relationship with with a woman who described herself as polyamorous. It’s been just the two of us for the last 6 months. She was up front about it from the start. I had never considered it before. We talked about it a little at the beginning. But I just let it go. I’ve played out various scenarios in my mind with it but I something took me off guard.

Today she told me she had sex with someone else. I am incredibly hurt by this. Not that she did but that she told me about it after the fact. I thought we had built up a level of trust. I expected this was going to come up but I thought it would have happened before she did it. I feel betrayed. She had never told me she had gone on dates or that she was going to have sex with someone else.

I feel like my trust has been broken. Is this a normal thing in this community? Where you go with the moment and tell about it later? It feels like she was keeping this from me and then confessed when she felt guilty about it.