Hey everyone, hoping the community can give me some perspectives. Over 1 years I’ve been poly I realised I have a very specific trigger. I use the word trigger because my reactions seem quite disproportionate to the situation and my usual reactions to poly situations, and seem to stem from some unknown old issue.

My trigger is if my partner/date dates or is interested in another partner/date/close friend/loved one. I’ve had panic attacks, bouts of crying, thoughts of leaving everyone. I would feel very very angry and jealous, but I’m really not sure at whom I’m directing those feelings. I really can’t think of a reason why I would feel this way as I’m not a jealous person at all. Nothing else makes me feel jealous this way.

First scenario - a date/close friend expressed interest in my partner and started going on dates with him. I actually ended up having two panic attacks, broke down and stopped dating that person (after trying to cope with the situation).

Second scenario - realised a casual (!) date is dating someone I’m interested in but has not pursued. Became really panicked, again wanted to stop dating this person, suddenly felt jealous towards the both of them for both dating someone I’m interested in.

Worried that this will cause issues in my poly life. I also feel it’s quite bizarre and so wanted to explore it a little. Any insights appreciated!