So, I keep having this thing happen that I connect with someone on a dating app and even though they are aware that I’m polyamorous, they become turned off by the fact that I have a girlfriend and a married, nesting partner. My partner is very independent and has lots of social engagements including dating, so they are not constantly in need of my time and attention. My gf has a married nesting partner and 9-yr-old, so it’s a challenge to work out time together and it’s usually once, maybe twice a week.

Am I being greedy to seek other connections since I have the time, bandwidth, and desire to do so? My partners don’t think so. Why am I encountering this holdover from monogamy culture? Should I just give up on dating entirely? Because at this point it’s damaged my self esteem and made me feel like I am just not desirable. Any advice about where to find polyamorous people that would be interested in dating other polyamory’s folks? I’ve tried r/polyamoryR4R and no interest from folks other than ones that judge me for seeking connections in addition to my current ones. Any advice and reassurance would be appreciated. Thanks! ❤️