I am married and have just begun dating someone who is also married. Both of our partners support our relationship, but both of our partners are also best described as "the slow" partner. For example, we all are meeting at a public event tonight and both 'metas' have indicated (for various reasons) that they would prefer to not see us being overly affectionate. Obviously the public nature of the event dictates some level of decorum. As a member of society, I'm perfectly fine with the constraints placed upon how we show affection. Where I really struggle is having boundaries set in one relationship by the needs of people who aren't in that relationship. What's the thought process for getting past this kind of thinking? Is it as simple as reminding myself that I am a married person and that I'm okay with the constraints that places is upon me and how I show affection with other partners? Thanks!

ETA: Thank you all for your insight! Nice to be called an asshole every once in awhile. Ha! I see the perspective and get it.