Hello!

I have this person I like a lot. I have two such people, but only one is relevant right now. However, I cannot really imagine more than having 2, and the 2 don't really interact. Let's call one of them "Spaniard", the other "Tol". I am discussing the "Spaniard"

She and I have fairly good overlap, and enjoy each other's company a lot. However, there are things - mostly in the kink/fetish matters - that I cannot really provide her.

She has two other people beside me who can. I am friends and trust one of them significantly, but I cannot feel anything more towards her - let's call her "Vet". The other is a new comer who I don't really know yet, but she did transgress some taboos I set on how I must behave. Let's call her new-comer.

Today, Spaniard and I had a talk about how her mood tends to change and shift around. She had ADHD, and can sometimes end up stuck in a specific mood. Sometimes that specific mood centers around me. Sometimes, it's the opposite: sometimes she wants things I cannot provide her even when we've made an honest try.

She reassured me that she loves me all the same, and we have agreed on ways to alleviate my neediness still even when her mood is incompatible and those help a lot!

And she had experienced such a single-moodedness before in spring. It resolved in a few weeks and we were back to normal. But! Back then we were more casual, and back then only one other person was present.

Those of y'all who have similar experiences, do you have any advice to handling my anxiety in a healthy way? Especially with newcomers, since with the Vet I feel pretty comfortable with.