I have two basic rules for poly-relationships: (Good communication is a given!)

1) I require my partners to make concious decisions and thus also take responsibility for their decisions - i.e relationships between consenting adults.

2) The relation between to people is unique - i.e. if the third wants to be included in a triad- or a throuple (e.g.), the legwork has to be made. The other two parties have to build their relationship - it isn't included by entering a relationship with the other(s). The second one is important, as relations progress on different timelines, especially emotionally. It is very rare (and tiring) for three people to fall in love at the same time together. Two might be great friends, but incompatible lovers, two might be in heat, whilst the other(s) are cool etc. Acknowledging this, (personally) also gives strength to give others some time and space with faith in ones' own strength to get in on the spicy when the time is right.

What do you think? What are your basic-guidelines? Am I missing an essentiell?