Hi there!

After cruising the wonderful world of online dating, I connected with someone in an ENM partnered relationship and I think that I'm part of their ENM relationship. The dating profile mentioned ENM, partnered, looking for something casual.

We have a lot of mutual interests and have had, what seems to be, mutually pleasing encounters. This has been going on for about three months.

Up until recently, I had never met their partner nor learned their name until I asked some of the right questions. I had no idea what exactly I was getting into and still don't. I don't even know my "role".

I made a faux-pas when I met their partner and their partner's partner, which has made me sick to my stomach. I had no idea that I had made a faux-pas until I was pretty insistent with the person whom I have been seeing about the "vibe" that I was getting. When this was communicated with me, I felt blindsided and don't really know how to react. The main issue revolved around boundaries, which I was completely unaware of, and I feel terrible and need to apologize, but don't exactly know how to do so. I want to make this work, but I don't know what to say because I don't want to gaslight nor do I want to put my foot in my mouth.

I did receive a list of "guidelines" and I'm not sure how to react because they bring forth more questions than answers. Like, who do I ask the questions to? Do I do them in person? Through texting? My heart races every time I read them.

Of note, I do have Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and thought that I was going to be ejected from something/nothing.

Any and all advice for this newbie is much appreciated!

Tl; dr I think that I'm entering an existing ENM relationship, but I have a lot of questions after making a faux pas and don't really know how to address them