I 41(f) am married and have a lover. Both men. I've been seeing my lover for a year, every 2 weeks. In that time he has been such a sweetheart and someone I've been able to explore sexually with. We have a relationship agreement to use condoms.

On our past date night, things were weird. He was messaging another couple he just saw (which we dont normally do on dates) and talked about feeling pressured to explore so much kink with me (I feel terrible about this and will correct).

But the hardest part was that he spent somewhere between 30 and 60 minutes trying to get me to fuck him without a condom. I kept saying no and he kept giving me reasons, telling me he wouldn't tell his partner, and pressing despite my no.

I love this guy and in a year I've not had other shitty experiences like this with him. I'm super surprised by this behaviour and also feel disrespected, broken trust, and disappointed. I don't want to leave but I wonder if that's stupid, and I don't know how to move forward.

I'll also add that I've called him on it and he has apologized and feels terrible. But just...it feels insufficient and I need to figure out how to move past this in a good way.

I'd love any wisdom.