So one of my girlfriends (Chime) had a recent traumatic event, and I was the first she told. It all happened just right after we had a major breakthrough in our relationship (being finally established as a romantic relationship with love and butterflies and stuff). Chime and Elf (EDIT : her husband) are hierarchical, but everybody is on board with the love thing.

Chime is doing remarkably OK considering the situation. She's so strong and brave. It's not really her first time and she handled it like a champ.

I was able to support her for a few days until Elf came back from his own bachelor party. Chime and I worked together during his absence to put her back on feet. I prepared her to talk to him for when he came back, as she wanted. And the least I can say is he was shocked.

So shocked that now he is unable to support her. He's going to therapy for the first time of his life. At home, he's unable to have long conversations, long cuddling, listening to her venting, having sex... Everything she wants and needs now, he can't do most of it. He's the one that needs most support right now and that's an ironic and difficult situation for her obviously. I'm not here to criticize Elf, he's a great guy... And he did help too (they just started to look for a house to buy in the countryside, which she always wanted to and which is a nice goal to focus on while healing). He just has never been confronted to very hard events like that in his life and couldn't handle it, and I get it. In his place, I'm not sure I would have done better.

Now forgive me but I feel a bit like an impostor. I feel like I have the nice role, even if I am first on the "battlefront". I'm the one doing the work with her, but a good chunk of this work is "being happy with her". Today me and Chime we went out for icecream, walking around in the city and be happy while Elf was at work (it keeps him focused and help him think about something else). I can't help but feel like I'm stealing those moments from them, but at the same time it's the only solution. Plus I was the one she was comfortable enough to tell, because she told me I could understand it and handle it. They are hierarchical so it's weird thinking I'm the trusty one for a matter so important as that.

She always says that she wants to protect him.

Elf thanked me and my other girlfriend for canceling our plans so I could help Chime. And Chime told me that this situation is indeed one of the purposes of polyamory. But I still feel worried about this situation.

Am I overthinking this ? I'm worried there is a big blindspot somewhere that I totally forgot and that is gonna fuck everything up, I don't know... What do you think ?

They already have all the professional/amical help they can have, I'm looking for advice/support about this polyamory situation because right now literally everybody around me needs me so you're my last resort.

EDIT : Chime's therapist managed to push her to ask Elf for help. They got some good time together and today he's going with her to her appointments.