Hello all,

I (32M) have recently met someone (24F) I'm rather excited about (she is also poly which was a big deal). The excitement seems reciprocated and we both experience a warm sense of intimacy. We have fun, there is lots of cuddling and we make eachother laugh. But there is also some insecurity from my part, my brain tells me to be careful - "what if this is another failure". It's still very new after all, so I don't know how safe I can feel. We were together last sunday and I've thought about her every day since and been craving more time with her. I got the impression she was rather busy this week, so I decided to be patient until friday, where she invited me to a party. I refrained from writing to her for two days because I didn't want to seem needy, but wrote her yesterday morning telling her I didn't think I would make it on friday. We ended up meeting yesterday, and the first thing she said was she'd missed me. It felt pretty damn great. It reaffirmed my (sometimes shaky) trust in the future and gave me the safety to also openly express I thought about her every day.

Now there's an issue that's kinda plaguing me. Even though it feels like we are a great match in many ways, I'm slightly worried about our sexual compatibility. It was kind of clumsy the first time. Two days earlier a FWB told me she didn't want to continue, which destabilised me a bit and felt sexually out of balance. I did still want to have sex with her - I was able to relax in focusing on her and made her orgasm. The problem was I couldn't stay hard after, so we kind of gave up after I tried to guide her a bit. Her handjob and blowjob style didn't seem to work very well for me. We talked about it casually, cuddled and fell asleep.

The second time we met, she had her period and didn't want PIV becaus she was wearing her cup. I focused on her for some time and made her orgasm. She gave me a blow/handjob until I came. It was somewhat better than last time, but still felt a bit unnatural and it still took me some time to "get to the edge" which usually happens rather quickly.

Third time, I'm onbviously still a bit nervous about this. Boner keeps coming and disappearing, but we end up having sex. We're going for quite some time, but I just can't seem to get the right stimulation to get to the edge. I suspect some lube would actually help us get there. Anyway, after some time and slowing down, I tell her I need a break. She told me she really wanted to make me come, to which I replied that I enjoy sex in itself and that ejaculating is not the main goal for me.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? How did you get past it? Any tips and tricks?