I recently read about poly under duress. My wife sounds extra depressed with this situation and is likely going along with it to keep the marriage..

I am not this short-sighted/selfish to push for NM with her if she’s not 100% on board. It should be exciting and fun for BOTH of me, and this scenario clearly shows that is not the case. I already had a lot of experience with swingers before we were together, and she is a Turkish conservative woman.

Lastly, I can't go behind her back. That’s cheating and is fucking devastating and awful to everyone involved.

How can I have an open conversation about WHY I want this, What you think you’ll BOTH get out of it, and be honest if she is not open to that and freaks out?