Not sure where to start, or what I even think about any of this. My wife has a new bf, a little over a month now. And the NRE is pretty thick I can tell, just from all the little things. She is going over to his house spending the night almost every other day, and that started almost immediately. My reaction to that it is hard to describe, strong feelings about it at first, sad mostly, but then I thought about it, and I figured it was for the best, the more she sees him, then hopefully the faster the NRE will be over with, and we will at least be on even terms in that regard.

She asks me still if she can go there, and I've always told her my answer will never be anything other than yes, go as much as you want. The first guy she had NRE with, the only way she got mad at him was if it related to her not being able to see him, he could have driven over a bus full of pregnant nuns with a steam roller otherwise, and with me it was pretty much the opposite (i could walk wrong i think), plus when she was mad at him i seemed to become the whipping boy. During most of that time I felt like the chopped liver ad on the back of yesterday's news. Kinda feeling like that now.

She said early in the day that he has had some tough things he was going through and she wanted to visit him for a bit, and again totally fine with that. I guess though that he didn't accept her invitation, and she became very dark, moody, moody at me, moody at the kids, shades of that NRE chopped liver thing. We had our time, we had our limerance together, I naively thought that's how it was always going to be, but those days are long gone.

You wonder for a moment, here I am, "I" want to spend time with you. Instead of ruminating about this lack of enthusiasm from the guy you have the NRE with maybe we could watch a movie or go for a walk or something, we still do have a "relationship" together don't we? It makes so much sense to me in my head when I think it, but then I realize that's not how it really works. She tells me she loves me, she's never leaving me, she reassures me, I think I believe her, but there's that little what if.

I know too it's not really something I can say or ask her, if I did all it would do is just make her mad, and then she goes on a tirade about how nothing she does is good enough. I get these weird thoughts, this little bit of doubt and sometimes I think I almost want her to tell me it's over, thay she doesn't really love me anymore because then I would have some closure, a strange kind of relief.