Hi all,

I'm looking for some advise, but I'm worried I might know the answer. I'm a 33 yr old trans woman who's been in several poly relationships, most of which didn't pan out (pun not intended).

The situation presently is I'm in a long distance relationship with a brilliant trans woman who is married to her non-binary partner and has a live in girlfriend who helps with the rent. I'm pretty independent financially but always want the connection of a relationship. It's been about 6 months and the honey moon phase is over. My interactions are all digital, sharing little pictures that make me think of her or just reaching out to say hi. On good days, we'll hang out on voice call over zoom or watch a few episodes of a show together. Her spouse isn't in the best health so traveling to see each other is out.

Things were fine until about the last two weeks. There was a change where my messages often get a one word reply put in ( ) or ignored outright. Some days she doesn't respond. I've asked and she's cited stress around the mortgage and a.d.d. We also have been having less serious discussions or ones about shared hobbies. Usually it's down to light hearted "How was your day?" "Good...".

She's encouraged me to seek local partners - something I don't have much luck in my more conservative area of the woods - and to reduce discussing sexual things unless the mood has struck her. That being said, she does try to meet me on the same level and I know that.

Am I just being needy or is this something that just happens in poly relationship?