My partner and I have a shared document that we put together our goal for 2023, and on top of their list is “up my EQ and be a good hinge” which I think is very sweet. So they have two partners atm, me and my meta and we get along pretty well.

My partner is putting in maximum efforts in learning how to be a good hinge. But sometimes I worry for them because they’ve had experience in the past of emotional burnout because they prioritised partners’ needs over their own and trying to make everyone happy. While I appreciate the effort, what are the things I could do to support them as their partner?

Here are a few things I could think of:

• Remind my partner that their top priority should always be self care, so they don’t fall back to emotional burnout.

• Respect that their time is their own. No need to justify taking time to be alone, do hobbies, hang with friends etc.

• Acknowledge and stick to our agreed arrangements, even if I miss them a lot I don’t put pressure on them to always respond to messages or meet more often than agreed.

• Give the benefit of the doubt and first time honest mistakes get a free pass. It’s all a learning process.

• Since I’ve never been a hinge myself, read up on the challenges of being a hinge and stay empathetic.

• Foster a friendly relationship with my meta, this is an easy one cos I really do like her a lot and we get along well.

Any other tips please?