A little background: I'm in a 3 year poly relationship, open from day 1. Date separately. Various FWBs and hookups for both of us, threesomes, etc. We've both almost had boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, but nothing has panned out.

A have a friend (former co-worker) who is recently divorced and raising his special needs son mostly alone. It's complicated. He has always been monogamous and has only had serious relationships - like moving in after 6 weeks and staying together for years. But he knows he can't do anything llike that since he needs to focus on his son. He tried an FWB thing with a mom he knows, but she immediately wanted to get serious, so he ended it.

We always flirted when we worked together.. Since he was unavailable I never even considered whether I was attracted to him. Sure, he was cute, but he was married / mono. Sure, he was funny and we liked talking, but he was married / mono. Sure, he's a good age / maturity level, but he's married / mono... I just never thought about it... After he left the job, we've had sporatic contact.

More recently, we were texting and he mentioned the divorce. I was a little surprised, but not very. A few weeks later, I invited him to hang out. I was NOT thinking of it as a date, but he did. We clarified that we were just hanging out, but he spent a good chunk of time "selling" himself as a great FWB/ minor boyfriend.

My concerns:

I genuinely like him and want him as a friend. Sex can mess that up. What if the sexual chemistry is off and then we want to go back to friends and it doesn't work?

He's kind of hyper and has a history of going "all in" on relationships. Will he be able to figure out how to have this level of relationship? I know, only time will tell...

Does he actually just see me as easy sex and a placeholder until he finds a "real girlfriend"? Again, only time will tell...

He's totally NEW to ENM / Polyamory. Do I want to be his Poly Guide?? That could be A LOT of emotional labor.

Can I be friends and keep things platonic or will I get high and suck his cock? I'm not good at platonic. I like fucking my friends...

Minor con - he's straight, so he won't want to play with my partner. This is an afterthought. Yes, I prefer bi / pan / flexible men, but straight guys are not a dealbreaker, since we date separately.

What does the reddit polyamory think? TIA!