So my partner and I have been together (not living together) for 5 years. We quickly identified during the early stages of our relationship that we were both kinky and non-mono so never created a committed relationship. But over time we have fallen in love and agreed it’s a deep love. And have partnered although we never refer to each other as boyf and girlf. And we could go months without having sex with each other but still love each other deeply.

We started swinging together and it was a bit of a fun thing to do on odd weekends when we didn’t have kids. But then made an agreement to have an open relationship. Whilst I was happy to have non-commital encounters, he wants to have a partner because he doesn’t like the idea of casual sex and wants just one person, in addition to me, that’s not just casual.

I have supported and encouraged him to pursue this. Meanwhile I’d have my random fun and frolics and tell him. He’d have the same but doesn’t want to interweave me and her or give details. I’m happy for this. As long as he’s happy.

Am I missing a trick though? Is there anything I’m not thinking logically about if he does this?

And is this still a poly dynamic? What type would we fall under?

He’s said he’d never want to loose me as his primary lover and I’d never want to loose him either.

The no sex thing between doesn’t bother me.

I guess what I’m asking is, is it possible to love someone just as much as loving someone else when one person involves sex and one person (the primary) doesn’t have sex?