Hi everyone.

This might be not the first time I’m posting about this subject. I have been struggling with cancer for about 6 years now. Every time i get treatment, docs tell me the prognosis: they expect the tumours to stay stable for the next 10 years… but they don’t.

A month ago i got my checkup and against all odds they told me that the cancer in my spinal cord is growing back, faster than before.

The issues we are facing here are basically:

• my upcoming surgery might damage my genital nerves (among others) which means i might not be able to feel intercourse anymore after surgery. Me and my partner agreed that i should enjoy sex as long as it might last. Being with him, and with others.

• this caused my partner to have some difficulties with the situation: we get into fights sometimes because we’re both very scared about what is to come. Besides that i’m seeing someone else, where i have a very good time with. My partner feels like he is the one where i share my troubles and fights with, and my other partner is the one i have all the fun with. I really understand why he feels like this, but it would really hurt me to give up this other wonderful relationship, as i start to care for this person more and more.

• my partner is very hesitant to date others because he is afraid that it will affect me negatively, especially when he is on a date with someone else while i’m sitting home alone with a lot of (physical) pain and he wants to be there for me my illness takes up a lot of energy in his life and he has no energy left to spare, even though i keep encouraging him to see his other partners.

I really try to let him feel that there is room for his feelings and i try to be there for him. I just want everything to be okay between us but he i my main caregiver.

Edit: we are already am in an open/poly relationship for 7 years and we’re each other’s primary partners.

I understand that there are not al lot of people who experienced exactly this, but similar stories would be very appreciated <3