It's been only 5 days since I last saw you and talked to you, and blocked you on everything. The first few days felt really euphoric and empowering, but today, I got home from therapy and broke down crying. "I miss you, I miss you so much" I repeated to myself in my empty apartment. I'm on my own again, no one that tells me they're proud of me. Because you would. If you were here right now, you'd tell me you like the way I decorated my apartment last weekend and that you're proud of me for doing so good in therapy. You weren't mean in those ways, although there was often this belittling undertone. But at this point... I'd rather have that than me be stuck with myself. I don't have any friends, you were my person. I fucking yearn for you like some junkie, and I think I need a fix before I go insane. I don't know how I'm gonna get through life never talking to you again, it feels impossible. But when I think of the bad times... My head starts to spin. Maybe it'll be different now that I'm getting treatment? Would you listen if I brought some advice from therapy home? I don't know. And I kind of want to find out... Fuck :(