Edit: Ohhhh my god I had a entire post about a summarization from last night till this moment but I did an oops or and deleted more than half of my post. I'm too drained to type all of it again so here's the last bit from when I woke up this morning after a day of being berated for finally speaking my mind and breakdowns.

I go to the bathroom and it wakes him up. He asks how I'm feeling and I said I don't want to talk about it, I need to be by myself today and we'll talk tonight or tomorrow. He says mockingly "oh so we're broken up again". Also asks for money for cigarettes because he probably felt it coming (he has no money). I'm like I can't decide that while you're here, I need to be clear headed while I think and just kinda do chores around the house while I think without interacting. So I help him pack and give him the money so he has a reason to get out the door, ask him if he has clothes in the laundry, he says yes so I walk over to the bathroom and stuff his dirty underwear back into his backpack lol. Obviously to him this makes it clear that I'm done cause normally I would wash it and leave it here. He asks for coffee and I hesitate but give it to him anyway so I can think of what I'll say when we're by the door. He says he doesn't want to talk about stuff over Whatsapp anymore, and if I want to break up I better do it face to face. I'm like yeah okay sure we'll talk tonight. Finish the coffee and walk him to the door. He's already on the outside of the door, so I go:

"Since you don't want to text about it and I don't have the desire to see you again, I'll just tell you right now. I don't want to continue dating and I don't want to be friends with you this time. You're not the type of person I feel comfortable with. Have a good weekend though. " Door in my hand. He goes "Yea I figured 🙄 anyways bye but you're gonna regre-" And I close the door before he can go on another word salad tirade.

A little while later I go to my mailbox and find a final payment reminder in his name for an order he made to my address without my knowledge. Basically if he doesn't pay within 5 days a debt collector will come to my door. He wears these diamond encrusted, gold tunnels in his ears that he didn't even pay for lol. They were only €25 but the costs racked up to €105. I honestly laughed cause I know he would feel some type of shame from me sending him this. So I sent him the picture and texted "Got this letter for you. I also emailed the company to make sure I don't get tangled up in your immature money spending mess. Anyways I'm blocking you on everything and removing you out of my life now, I'll let you know if I hear anything about the payment. "

His response:

[22-7 11:14] : Thanks for this message [22-7 11:16] : How are you? [22-7 11:24] : I even emailed. And I had changed address when ordering then. So they sent to your address. Stop being dramatic about the debt collectors [22-7 11:25] : How are you? You're acting weird [22-7 11:26] : There are still socks in the laundry basket. But they can go. Since they have wear on them [22-7 11:29] : The universe already predicted this. It was coming, I already knew you were too broken. I'm going after my dream, and to the right woman. Who is honest and so on. Who doesn't hide things from me. This doesn't feel right and safe. But thank you very much for the lesson learned! 🙌🏽 [22-7 11:31] : Bye 💋

So. That's it I guess. I feel very weird and don't know what I want or need. It felt good writing this but my mind is jumbled. I feel ANGRY at his last message cause I am NOT THAT and it makes me want to cry. He's also going to volunteer at a center for people that went through psychosis from PTSD and honestly how not understanding and mocking he's been with my PTSD I kind of want to give them a call and warn them. But I'm afraid it's gonna come off smear campaign-ey.

Also here's the post I made last night for some more context: https://www.reddit.com/r/pnsd/comments/w4u1ee/no_thanks_i_dont_need_your_reconciliation/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

I can't form sentences anymore so I'm gonna leave it here and sand/repaint my table lol. Thank you guys for being amazing!!