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r/oneliners

180,896 subscribers

Notice: This subreddit is not actively monitored, so the posts here are only a small subset of what exists on reddit.

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Rule 1: Posts must be one liners Rule 1: Jokes must be one liners yeah ok
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to r/oneliners by more__better
4 months ago
The Abstinence Society is currently hiring for all positions.
to r/oneliners by SweatyMeat9
11 months ago
How do I convince my girlfriend that "nonce" is not an appropriate word for a 12-year-old to call an adult?
to r/oneliners by Gqsmooth1969
1 year ago
You really have to hand it to short people, because otherwise they can't reach.
to r/oneliners by Anonymous_Bozo
11 months ago
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
to r/oneliners by Vesurel
11 months ago
I wish I could learn more about taxonomy but everything is classified.
to r/oneliners by Vesurel
11 months ago
Anyone know what the movie Carry On Tology is about?
to r/oneliners by Vesurel
11 months ago
Can't believe rear of the year was won by December again.
to r/oneliners by theSpine12
7 months ago
Boy was I disappointed when everyone else turned up wearing pants to bottomless brunch
to r/oneliners by Vesurel
11 months ago
Every ovation is a standing ovation if you don't provide seats.
to r/oneliners by InkaGold
1 year ago
For those of you with feelings of paranoia that you are being watched: I want you to know that you are not alone.
to r/oneliners by SomeGuyInDeutschland
7 months ago
Undercover bee dies in sting operation
to r/oneliners by Vesurel
11 months ago
Over 99.9% of tautologies are true.
to r/oneliners by more__better
4 months ago
My cousin, Jesus, has such a savior complex.
to r/oneliners by skip-009
1 year ago
My friend had his car keys stolen at the new Spider-Man movie…now he has No Way Home
to r/oneliners by TyrionIsMyRoleModel
1 year ago
“I don’t like eating chipotle”, said no Juan ever.
to r/oneliners by Mathematician-Key
1 year ago
are waves on the beaches `tan` waves? *haha* geddit?
to r/oneliners by OhTheHueManatee
2 months ago
Most amateur porn actresses are just not up to snuff.
to r/oneliners by PotenciaMachina
3 months ago
Most members of the sith are pretty bad at math unless you Count Dooku.
to r/oneliners by professorwn
1 year ago
I have a polish friend who is a sound engineer...and a Czech one too
to r/oneliners by Vesurel
11 months ago
Having to do things if I want to be successful is a real catch 11.
to r/oneliners by Anonymous_Bozo
11 months ago
Opportunity knocks once, if you hear a second knock it's probably a Jehovah's witness.
to r/oneliners by Anonymous_Bozo
11 months ago
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realized I should have been more specific.
to r/oneliners by MrBacon2339
1 year ago
Dislexia is a hell of a drug
to r/oneliners by disturbednadir
1 month ago
I'm more worried now that 2020 has turned 21...now it can drink.
to r/oneliners by Anonymous_Bozo
11 months ago
Using todays vernacular, TV dinners should be called Satellite Dishes.