My DPDR has this cycle (has since forever) of a moment of intense presence followed by a return to the status quo. A little over a week ago I made a public declaration of intent to minimize judgement of everything, from myself to others to the world. I literally forgot about this challenge like entirely, despite knowing I was doing better… I even set another goal… going to a prestigious grad school. I’m keeping it but frankly this one i made here is more immediately important and necessary to achieving the second.
My brain saw the improvements and got ahead of itself. this is a defense mechanism for the defense mechanism of me judging and anticipating things without fully engaging in them. If I let myself forget my goal… I’ll go back to the way things were before.