It’s been just over 7 months, I live in a new state thousands of miles away, have been meeting new people and making new connections but I still get the sinking feeling in my stomach when someone who even slightly resembles her walks into my job, the local watering hole, or around the local grocery store. Does it ever go away? This fear of just seeing her again eats me up, my chest gets tight, my heart races, and Makes me feel like I’m going to puke. I don’t know if it’s because of the holidays, or the trauma from her over the past 3 years that I’ve associated this time of year with, or if it’s because I’ve had a few more panic/trigger inducing incidents this past week than usual. I’m mortified that one day she’s going to just pop up out of the blue, and I know it’s absurd and unrealistic to think that way but it scares the shit out of me