I’m low masking autistic, and have other health problems. He always wanted high masking and would do things like pinch my leg under the table while we were in public until I would “behave.” If the house wasn’t perfect it was my fault because I was home all day even though he was the one who told me I didn’t have to work because he could support me and it didn’t matter that my unmedicated brain would literally not let me do things. He made me get rid of my coloring books because I “spend too much time on them.” We stopped going to the doctor because “we can’t afford it” and when I offered to go back to work it was “but then who would take care of the house.” He only ever slapped me once to snap me out of a panic attack, but I told myself it was ok because he immediately apologized and held me and never did it again. He eventually found another woman who was “less work” meaning neurotypical so the trash ended up taking itself out, but it’s still taken almost a year before I felt ready to start talking about what happened. My sweet father who would never harm a fly had murder in his eyes when he heard that I was hit and I can’t believe I ever fell prey to that when my family has always had my back.