Please, someone say something that gets it through my thick skull and breaks the trauma bond. I'm in therapy and I have a psychiatrist who prescribes medication (I am bipolar). My marriage was mostly emotional and verbal abuse but occasionally physical.

I left 6 weeks ago and it's been back and forth ever since. One moment he's his normal self (or his fake self?) telling me that he has things to work on and that it's not my fault and the other minute he's screaming at me at the top of his lungs that I'm the problem. Somehow no matter what he does I have this undying hope that we'll work things out and the future I envisioned will come to pass. He has done horrible things that I don't understand how they haven't made me hate him.

My psychiatrist said not to let my emotions control me and to make goals for myself with my therapist but my therapist hasn't really been helpful in that way. She kinda just asks me if I have anything I want to talk about and makes various non-committal phrases. Someone break it down for me. How do I keep my emotions from controlling me? What goals do I set? I can't sleep anymore and all I want to do is text him so I'm making this post instead.