Hi all, just a quick note to remind everyone here to please do your best not to assume a poster's gender or their abuser's gender unless it's specifically stated in the post.

This sub is intended to be a supportive, safe space for people of all genders. There is a growing number of male survivors in our sub, some of whom have been abused by women, and several of them have repeatedly voiced how hurtful it feels when they post here or other support forums, only to have commenters refer to them as women, or assume their abuser is male.

Also - some posters here identify as nonbinary and they and/or their abuser may not identify as male or female, or may use pronouns other than she/her or he/him.

There are also women using this sub who have been abused by other women. I understand that the dominant narrative of domestic violence in mainstream media centers on women abused by men, but even though gender assumptions are often not intentionally harmful, the impact is still hurtful. This is an example of impact over intent.

I don't want anyone here to feel invalidated by comments assuming their gender or their abuser's. If the post doesn't specify, it's better to use they/them pronouns to refer to the abuser, and think about gender-neutral alternatives to use instead of saying "You deserve better, girl" or something similar. Even if you don't think a mistake like this is a big deal, it is. It's like a thousand tiny cuts, and those can build up and sometimes make people reticent to even share their experiences at all.

Thanks so much, everyone!