So when I (24MtF) moved to Oregon to be with my boyfriend (28m), I was already a bit unsure of what my sexuality was because I've never really had much with men, so it never really made much of a deal to me. I'm into them romantically still, however. On the multiple day bus trip to Oregon, I was sexually harassed and almost assaulted by a man on the bus, and I haven't felt comfortable trying to be sexual since. I pretty much call myself asexual.

My boyfriend claimed it wasn't an issue but clearly it is. For months he's been moody and bitchy (I'd be nicer with my words but I'm just so exhausted), drastic mood swings, whole nine yards, all because we haven't had sex. I gave him a hand job once and ever since I've felt a bit gross, even. He wakes up at night and gets dark and grumbly because he constantly has wet dreams. None of this is my fault. I can't choose what I'm like.

Today/yesterday I think I was in a lot of danger. We've had a lot of talks about our relationship even though it's going in circles, and we'd just had a long one the day before today/yesterday. I'm pretty sure both of us know we aren't staying together. But while we were driving he drove me down the side road at a park, down a road he literally described seeing an NSFW photoshoot happening near once because it's a low traffic area. We drove to the end of it, but we didn't even stop to hang out or even look around much. There were a lot of cars and people, and he just turned around while mentioning all the people that usually weren't there and we went back home.

I think he was trying to find somewhere private to hurt me, or worse. But I don't know if I'm just being paranoid.