I have posted here on/off. I finally made him move out in October, been struggling to cut ties ever since. Some weeks we spend a lot of time together, sometimes not.

I even tried doing a therapy session with him and his therapist, couple weeks ago and shortly before it he verbally lashed out at me "f*ck this! you're clueless b*tch, I'll never marry you, I'll definitely never live with you again" - this was in response to a conversation about how I wasn't being "present" for him because I am working a lot, I suggested he "engage with me differently" and he took that as blaming him. I was crying in the session and she validated me that he was not creating a healthy emotionally supportive relationship, but then she also said we both need accountability.

I continuously have told him there's no working on the relationship if he continues to be on tinder, that's really what it's always come back too. even when we were together. him manipulating me into thinking it was okay for him to be on tinder (as ENM). basically towing the line trying to cheat - he never could actually cheat because he never had the opportunity.

I tried confronting him again last night (over the phone) he asked how I was doing, I told him my day off didn't go as planned and I wasn't feeling great. He out of nowhere said "are you unhappy with me?" so I said "what do you mean?" and he said "are we working towards something or are we roadkill?" and I said " not sure I agree with your binary thinking, but I don't really see how we'll ever get anywhere because I've told you I'm not comfortable you being on tinder, trying to sleep with other women, while we continue seeing each other." he took me in a circular conversation and said he was tired of this stress and started screaming at me "you need to be a GOOD GIRLFRIEND" and I hung up on him. Then proceeded to text me he is tired of my "spite" and my "hot cold" behavior. And constantly insisting I "direct my stress" at him.

I'm kind of just venting, But word of support are appreciated. I lied to my friend yesterday about cutting ties if there was any communication still. Probably from embarrassment.

I had one therapy session with my own therapist who specializes in narc abuse...She referred this book to me "Women Who Love PsychoPaths " by Sandra Brown, wanted to share.