I realize I am not a good person. People make a lot of excuses for me and say Im good when I know I am not. I always want people to know the truth that I am bad and I have made bad life choices and I am not at the moment a stable person to keep in your life. Could be an OCD thing but who knows. I know my alters hold some very unhealthy behaviors and thought patterns. A lot of us do not like or trust each other. We slowly are building safety inside but its so hard

My toxicity leeches into my real life.

Im good in small doses basically. I never let myself get close to people in fear that I will hurt them. I am so mean and unhealthy. Im trying to heal by letting myself have acquaintances, slowly building loose friendships and reconnecting with family. but "bad alters" (not bad to me, but to others, yes) tell me I am dangerous and bad for them

I learned along the way I have what others may call selfish/bad/toxic dissociative alters and they run my life basically. Hypersexuality and Anger Issues rooted from trauma = Bad Time.......

I feel so much shame even slowly unraveling fhis to my therapist. She is well versed in IFS but i feel like my parts probably terrify her. I am admitting slowly my selfish actions. She seems compassionate and understanding but I get scared to tell her my alters are people I love but I consider them harmful people at the same time.

How the hell do you admit that to someone. Its so much

Ughhhh