I recently was diagnosed with OCD. I've been having a lot of realizations of how deeply and how long I've been impacted by my symptoms (basically since I was a young child, with a lot of trauma compounding things). I told my psychologist that I became really angry when I thought about all of the things I've missed out on and never got to experience properly as a result, i.e. never forming close friendships, experiencing dating as a teen, etc.

He has told me that I need to grieve the loss of childhood, of the safety to grow and learn and make mistakes. But I don't really understand what that means or how to go about it. How do I grieve something I haven't had? I'm so used to having to be the person that is low maintenance, that can figure everything out on my own, that can't rely on anyone else.

Has anyone else experienced this? Do you have any advice for me on the process of grieving your childhood? It feels like I'm gaining insight into my symptoms without any idea of how to begin shifting into healthier thought processes.