TLDR: Between Friends as a couple, Shed16 as a couple, and Between Friends as a solo woman. Each had positives and negatives.

I've been meaning to write this for several months, and had a few people ask me after my last posts but I hadn't gotten around to it. Sorry I kept those few of you waiting!

These accounts are intended more as informative than titillating, so I won't make the language particularly erotic.

One of my partners and I had already had various experiences together (and separately) including inviting men over for MMF threesomes or my partner watching, other private group experiences, and we'd been to ClubX cinemas for exhibiting and swapping on the one occasion there was another couple present. We decided we wanted to give venues a try and started with Between Friends.

We were very pleased that the owner greets you at the door and takes on the role of bouncer - this gave us a good impression about how much they care about the quality of the patrons and experience there. Overall we found it hard to approach people, both during drinks downstairs and after we went upstairs. We were trying to show visible interest in others without being pushy, but found most people polite but aloof - almost everyone seemed to be happy in their couples and not encouraging approaches. We played near others but besides exchanging smiles, there was never any avenue to pursue more. The only exception was one couple who walked in, sat next to us and bluntly asked "are you swapping?" right as we were in the middle of something. At the time this felt inelegant and quite jarring, not sexy at all. On reflection though it might have indicated that we needed to be more confident and direct rather than taking a subtle approach. I often felt like there was a coded language we were supposed to have learnt in order to decipher what others welcomed. I was touched at one point without consent which was so irritating, because I would have consented if asked. I don't understand why people do this, they're shooting themselves in the foot. The highlights of that night were early in the evening hearing wonderful moans from one of the closed rooms while we got excited next door, and then being on a bed with another couple and getting to enjoy the movement of the bed from their fucking. So not a bad night, but definitely a little underwhelming and gave the strong impression of cliques and "who you know" dynamics, so not the best for nervous newbies.

Our second venture out was to Shed16 and that had a very different atmosphere, darker and more kink encouraging. We were more bold and chatted with some people downstairs before heading up. Much larger space with more variety of setup for fun scenarios, but I prefer beds to the padded platforms they have there. Similiar vibe to the Elsternwick Spa which I went to once over a year ago but has closed since. We were taking our time warming up and getting in the mood and had a lot of people ask early on if we were interested, and not take it well when we said we weren't ready yet. The lowest point was a couple lying next to us and then touching without consent, only asking after I reacted to the touch. My response was "Not Yet" to which the man scoffed "I didn't realise this was a hotel" - which I found really rude and degrading. The implication that we shouldn't be there if we didn't want to play immediately; maybe we did just want to be watched, and that's ok, or maybe we just didn't want to play with him and his lady, and that's ok too, so the non-consensual touching and then rude response to rejection was super aggravating. I jumped up and led us out of the room to somewhere where I could take a breather and calm down again. After that we told the staff about the experience and they were understanding and said they'd speak to the other patrons. I believe they did, but they didn't ask them to leave because we saw them again multiple times in the evening. After a brief recovery we went back upstairs. It seemed like most people wanted to keep doors closed, or they got overwhelmed quickly with lots of onlookers, because it was getting busy and people didn't go for long in front of the crowd. At this point my partner and I were able to play with some others, firstly with another lady which was a delight for me because I rarely to engage with other women. I was also touched by another woman without consent, but let her get away with it, because I wanted to be touched, but I dislike the idea that being compliant encourages the behaviour. Next time I might say something like "Just ask me first and I'll say Yes." to demonstrate that I'm keen but want to maintain ethical practices. It definitely requires effort to hold that line when I'm horny and want to play. We finished the evening with fucking alongside another couple with shared touching but held back from a full swap because I was still feeling cautious and didn't want to rush. My comfort level definitely yo-yos drastically from occasion to occasion and even moment to moment over the course of an evening. Overall a good time and a fun venue. I've heard about excess single men there, but we must have gone on a good night because that wasn't our experience.

The last experience I want to write about was a solo return to Between Friends. Very nerve wracking, but I really wanted to push myself and get outside my comfort zone. The owners were very understanding and helpful, introducing me to some regulars. I also put on my best extrovert efforts and approached many couples to introduce myself. Some people took this well and were happy to chat, others were a bit stand-offish and maybe thought I was being a bit desperate, even though I made no actual indication that I was attracted to them. I was just as invested in talking to people as I was in sexual activity, so I approached everyone fairly evenly, not just targeting those I was hoping to play with. Upstairs most of my time was spent on a single chair pleasuring myself, and as the night dragged on it started to feel much like the first visit - people in their couples happy to play in shared spaced and be watched, but only a very small percentage wanting group activity. Eventually I was invited to participate by one particularly gorgeous woman who I had noticed on my first visit and was very happy to see again. I became very focused on her so probably just as guilty of the "closed couple" impression I was getting from others! That being said her male partner was there and touched me, as well as a another woman who was interacting with both of them. Afterwards I felt like maybe I'd accidentally been rude by basically ignoring the others because I was so drawn to her! Oops! The evening ended shortly after.

Huge learning experiences each time, and although I'd do all those things again, I'm not convinced I've found the niche for group play that would suit me best.

If you want to voice any criticism of my behaviour, or general advice, please do so with sensitivity that I'm still figuring things out, but I'm not totally naive. Constructive, not condescending. Thank you.