My partner and I both in our 40's, very attractive, we have tried online sites like redhotpie but found it doesn't really work. While it has many profiles with sexy women in lingerie, there are very few couples with likeable men. And when the man is finally revealed, it is nearly always a disappointment. Or they both seem promising but when we meet the personality is a put off or the man somehow in that short time since meeting online, grew a gut and aged terribly.

Online dating is a mugs game at best of times. There is more to a person than what photos and chatting can reveal. In person, their real looks, personality and charisma are on full display and you are either attracted and strike a conversation or you don't. You're not put in an awkward situation.

We considered swinger events, but going somewhere where people are naked and having sex in the open is way too extreme for us.

Surely, there must be discrete bars, clubs where you can meet genuine couples looking for couples and like minded people, but where everyone has their clothes on?