So my husband and I have a pretty toxic relationship over the years. We have tried to resolve it with therapy and are planning on going back into therapy soon. Infidelity is a huge problem in our marriage and it's destroying it. he thinks I should be over it, see that he has fully changed , and move on. That these are insecurities within myself and not brought on by lies and cheating. So I get overly jealous when he looks at other women. I try to hide it but he points it out and just pummels me for being insecure and how unattractive it is. How unstable I am that I still think it could happen. Well after him telling me that I'm a miserable wife and he can't do anything to make me happy. He decides to stop at a hot springs which is obviously notorious for naked women, without me, while I'm making his dinner. Previous we talked about how we'd go together as it made me uncomfortable. But I know if I brought it up now he would get angry at me for even thinking that's what he was doing. He told me he talked to some people . Which I'm sure we're women. He became very very comfortable and confident talking to other women when he was cheating and even met one of his flings in traffic . Yet says it's not a possibility that he would meet someone out there and I'm crazy for thinking it. I'm just so fucking scared he's testing the waters again to see how much he can get away with by just calling me crazy or instigatory or manipulative. I can't go through being lied to and cheated on again. I so desperately wish I could tell him this but I know it will just start a fight so I needed to write it down here.