One of the last events that made me leave was how our anniversary went.

On our anniversary weekend, he invited a friend of his to hang out with us. I thought said friend would be gone the day of the anniversary, so I didn’t say anything. The friend stayed. I had some stuff to work on so I went to our bedroom to work on it away from the hubbub in the living room. He came in to check on me and I asked if he had anything planned for our anniversary. He didn’t confirm or deny so I just went back to my work.

I heard him leave a bit later with his friend. I thought the friend had left, so I went to take a shower. While I was taking the shower, my husband burst in to give me a plate of donuts and one of those Starbucks drinks you buy at the checkout of a grocery store WHILE IN THE SHOWER as my anniversary present. He claimed that he had hidden them earlier in the house (like it was obvious that he ran out and got those when I asked the question). He also had a card that wished me a happy birthday and said “sorry COVID made it so I couldn’t take you out anywhere.” The friend came back with my husband, btw, and didn’t leave until the next morning.

The next day, my husband asked me what I wanted to do now that his friend left. I told him that I was frankly sick of telling him where to go and that I wanted him to surprise me and make the decision for once. I also told him not to lie that he had planned the donut thing in advance, which he admitted to. He got super withdrawn and weepy after that. The next day, he told me that I was holding a mistake over his head. What was his mistake? Mistakenly telling me he had planned to give me donuts ahead of time. I told him it wasn’t a mistake, but a lie. He told me he had talked to his therapist about it and the therapist confirmed that I was making a problem out of a mistake. But to me it just seemed like a lie?

Was I overreacting/harsh in regards to that gift?