So my(F20) birthday was last week on the 15th, I had a nap after working 8am-4:30pm before my family made plans to go out to dinner. I get up to do my makeup for said dinner because I am insomniac and the bags are reall dark with how much sleep I havent gotten lately. My SO (M20) came in to tell me he made plans to go to dinner with his family already. ON MY BIRTHDAY. I told him I thought he was coming and he said he had asked me if I wanted to go and I had told him no, mind you I had just woken up. So I told him I was asleep and wanted him to go and he did the, “I’ll cancel my plans with my parents and let them know why” guilt trip he likes to do. I told him, angrily to not cancel them and he was no longer invited to the dinner which caused a hissy fit.

He had the entire day off and made no effort to do anything special for me whatsoever, he brought me lunch like he does the days he gets off, which was just reheated pizza from the night before. Then went over the top and told me it was oh so special because a, “Happy birthday” was included while he was staring at his phone still. Told me that it takes an hour out of his days so I shouldnt think it’s something that isnt just the most fantastic thing in the world. When I told him I didnt expect it and he could stop bringing me lunches, especially because when he does he’ll ignore me and just watch Youtube on his phone, he told me he enjoys doing it and likes spending time with me after the tirade of it taking up his time. So I left for dinner after a micro-fight about all of this.

I got back home before him since my stomach problems started to act up at dinner. He was still at his parent’s house. He got home and proceeded to tell me I had ruined his plans to do a pillow fort for me to watch a movie since “I had wanted it”. I did not. It’s been something HE has wanted to do since we moved in. I told him I didnt want to and tried to go to bed. He followed me puppy dogging me the entire time. I left my house, him following me out and blocking my door of my car so I couldnt close it and then we had a much larger fight. I said some shit I know was wrong, I apologized for it at a later time but honestly it felt like he had ruined my birthday. I understand he didnt have any money but previously, when I hadnt, I would at least do something special. At least a card which he had chose not to do.

I slept at my parent’s that night I had gotten over there at like 2. I got home when I thought he wasnt there to take care of stuff. He decided to call off work to “talk” about it. Still nothing. It’s been a week and today is my sister’s, brother’s and my birthday celebration with our family all together before my parents move back to Arizona. He expected to be there, made breakfast which I thanked him for, but I have just been consistently disappointed. I told him I didnt think it was a great idea for him to come with me for the celebration, given his shitty behavior. He just stared at his plate the entire meal saying nothing. Then continued saying, “I would love to be there with you but if you dont want me there” it got so annoying.

Afterward he sat down and looked and me and said, “Do you want to go with me to go get you a new succulent?” Which caused another fight after I said I dont want him to act like he cares now. He could have done something with the last week and hadnt. We are on a break now but it has been kind of messy. I dont know what I should do.

Am I the bad guy for not wanting to be let down again? I seriously feel like he only wants to go because it’ll be fun for him. I am honest so hurt right now.