I am leaving at 915pm to go to my ice hockey practice that’s 37 min away, and starts at 1015! I joke to myself that there’s only a few things I’d leave the house so late for: hockey, dancing, and sex. I laughed but then wondered why

In all three I feel Connected to my body (out of my head and present in the moment), Confident when engaged in the activity, Calm afterwards, at peace, settled, and a Curious (about learning on the ice, my partner or turn ons) and Courageous (taking risks physically, emotionally and with pushing boundaries to find new things.

I would drag my tired ass to the car because it’s a ton of Self energy waiting for me!

On the flip side, I’ve been enormously frustrated by anything that limits my access to Self energy activities like I don’t have friends to go dancing with and husband won’t let me go alone. There’s no sex there either which makes me not feel like ME! I’ve been dying to go camping solo too but he’s not okay with that (he hates tent camping but will hike) . So something inside me gets angry, frustrated, explosive emotionally at times, feels controlled, craves freedom. And maybe that is some Parts trying to help Self get what she needs to feel like “herself”. Or maybe those Parts are battling my Protectors who keep my quiet about my own needs