New to IFs and seeing a trained therapist My protector part wears her resentment like armor or a blanket She put it on and to be honest, it feels good to me. So good, in fact, that it tells me Self likes how it feels too. And I don’t want to let go of the resentment for a lot of reasons, ones that are emotional, but also make logical sense. It keeps me not only safe from the hurt of others, but from my Part who betrayed my needs for decades. The part tells me if I let go of this resentment, everything will be as it was before. It functions as both a manager (proactive) and a firefighter (reactive) so it’s very strong And again, so strong it feels like Self is buying into this, but I know that’s not possible.

If it didn’t do it’s job, I would betray myself, and never hold my partner accountable for the change I’ve asked for in the relationship. If it is allowed to soften, I will get stepped all over.