I wasn't working tonight and I didn't sleep well today. I was feeling weird and had the crazy idea of searching for hookers online (sorry if the word is inappropriate or something, english isn't my mothertongue and that's the only equivalent to "escorte" i could think of)

I had a bit of spare money to use because the pandemic isn't over yet and i won't be able travel for my vacations next month. So i found some on a random site (a lot easier than i would've thought) and texted a few of them. 3 replied and i ended up reserving 1. I was really stressed and did some quick cleaning. She came late, i wasn't even sure if she would really show up or if it was a scam. I was so stressed, i was almost relived at the thought it might be a scam

When she finally arrived, i was very tense. I didn't know how to act exactly. Undressing wasn't as hard as i thought it'd be considering i kinda have have a complex regarding my weight that went to the roof as it became 10x worse recently. Anyway, she started the job and i barely lasted a minute... She was kind and allowed me a round 2 out of pity but i was so embarrassed, i couldn't really raise my flag ad she gave up. She tried to reassure me that some ppl are way more anxious and cannot even raise it in the first place. Anyway she left before even half the time i paid for was over.

Paid half a rent for 3h of stress, 20 minutes of embarrassment, a night long of questioning myself and insecurities that will last way longer than that.

1/10 because she was kinda trying to be nice, would not recommend

​

​

I hope sharing this will help understand that getting laid isn't going to unlock everything magically. I never felt as much virgin than tonight despite despite having a woman making me nut.