So three years ago I asked for advice and thought maybe someone likes to read how this stuff can play out. I regularly torch my reddit accounts, so it's unlikely someone will find the original.

Situation back then: My boyfriend of 10 years (BF 1) and I always had an open relationship, then went poly when second boyfriend (BF 2) and I fell in love after some time of no strings attached fun. Never thought it could happen to me, but apparently it could. So then I had two boyfriends and was pretty open about it to my friends and neighbours. Job was conservative and I was in the closet there, that suffocated me and I changed jobs. I told my sister, then a year later told my mother. Both warned me not to tell my father as he would never understand. So I stayed quiet for one more year (new relationship now 2.5 years), but once again, it started to suffocate me. I thought it was unfair that my Dad was literally the only person in the world from whom I was hiding in the closet, and also that BF 2 could not participate in any family gatherings because of that as if he was a dirty little secret. Also, my parents live close by, so it's not a "see them once a year" situation.

So I asked for advice here and got a rather unison: Tell him.

You agreed with my two reasons to want to tell him, and also pointed out that I was depriving my Dad of the option to react surprisingly well, and BF 2 and my Dad of getting to know each other. Additionally, you thought it would be sad if Dad died without seeing this side of his child, a side that's rather relevant to someone's personality.

How it went: I asked my Dad for some time to talk. We went to the garden, sat in the shade and without further ado, I just told him: "Dad, I have a second boyfriend". He stared at me for a moment and then surprisingly said: "I thought as much" because apparently it was suspicious how often I was away over the weekend. I was astonished that he was so chill about it, he kinda laughed and said "I have been on this earth for over 80 years, I think there are few things I have never seen". I was so relieved!! So he asked me about BF 2, what kind of person he is, what he does for a living yada yada.

I thought it had gone without a hitch, and then he asked: "So, I'm happy for you, but one problem remains: What will you do about [BF 1]?"- "What do you mean, what will I do?"- "Have you not thought about what will happen if he finds out?"... WTF, dude thought I was cheating and having an affair! So I told him that they know about each other, that they are friends and nobody intends to break up with anybody. Yeah, now it was his turn to be absolutely shocked. He literally couldn't understand. Said this is not right. Asked me what I thought I was doing to those boys... I asked back how he could be cool with me cheating, but not with a consensual and harmonious v-shaped relationship, and apparently that was because "no sane man would agree to this".

The talk ended with "You're my daughter, I love you, but this is not right". He went home and locked himself in his room. I called my Mom to tell her about the talk. She was pissed and said "I told you so" and why I didn't listen or at least tell her before the talk so she could prepare him, I said I could not bear it any more and didn't tell her because she would have tried me to talk out of it and it was difficult enough for me already. She said OK fair enough, and said she would try to smooth things over.

Yeah, that went well, eh? Bruh...

Dad barely talked to me for a month or so. Then Easter came. Usually BF 1 and I would come to my parents, I had no reason to think it would go differently. So imagine my surprise when Mom called and said to bring BF 2. I said hm OK, I would ask BF 1 if he would agree to sit this one out (I could already see him flailing his arms to get my attention and nodding :D) but she said "no why, bring both boys around". I just said OK and hung up. Then had to call back to ask what time :D

The post is long enough already, so I'll make it brief: Easter went well, my parents made BF 2 feel very welcome, he liked them and they liked him. Now it's 3 years later, meanwhile he moved here and there's a shocking lack of drama in our lives.